I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
