I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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