I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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