LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
