But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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