I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
