I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
