He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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