Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
