I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
