he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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