my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
