Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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