she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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