he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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