She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
