I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
