I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
