I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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