Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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