Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
