He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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