I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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