This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
