i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
