Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
