I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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