I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
