Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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