Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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