So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
