i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
