Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize