I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
