I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I wear drunk well.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
