I need help removing her.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
