whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
