North Korea, Best Korea!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize