He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
