So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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