I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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