the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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