STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am naked and annoyed.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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