i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
