:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
