I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
