Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize