butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
