i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize