I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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