at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
