the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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