THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize