marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
