yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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