when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
