I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize