She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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