You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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