He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
