Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
