hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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