just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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