ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
