We won't sleep together?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
