Your face is a jimmy john
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
