I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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