and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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